More back-story

So here's some sad news for you, I was abused as a kid, bullied most of my life and found that when I had some money and spent it on people, they were nicer to me. I didn't pay people to be my friends, at least I wasn't that upfront about it. But I knew that if I did pay for things for people they would be friendly with me. I never learnt that this was a false friendship and I never learnt what a real friendship meant. It got so bad that I stole money from my parents so I could spend it on friends growing up. I stole a lot of money from my parents, this was from age 11 - 14 at which point I realized I should probably start making some money and then I can spend my own and stop robbing my parents. I do think it was at this point that I understood that money could buy love and attention. If you think about it, as a kid you go to your grandparents or family member that you don't really want to go to to get some money, and what do you have to do in return, you have to give a kiss. I know it's an innocent comparison but think about the direct correlation of affection for money. All I'm getting at is as a pretty unpopular kid, I was able to win friends and influence people if I had money. If I didn't have money I couldn't do that. When I met my wife I wooed her and life was great. If I spent the same kind of money on wooing her today as I did at the beginning we would have a very happy marriage, or would we, she would complain that I'm wasting money on things that don't matter and get angry as a result. Some point along the way I lost sight of what matters and got distracted by my addiction again. I can tell you the exact moment that happened to me at a later posting.